Why I wrote “She Is”

My reasoning for writing this children’s book is very personal for me. I am among many women who have struggled with self-image and self-esteem. I have carried inside of me a little girl who desperately needed to be healed; who craved the love and affection that she gave to other people; who needed to hear from herself, “I Love You” and actually believe it; who made decisions based on the need for approval and adorations in hopes of pleasing everyone; who knew there was more to her, that she had a purpose, but did not have the courage or the confidence to step out of the bubble she believed the world put her in.

Although I have not lived the same life as other women or little girls, I do know a life of self-doubt, a life of self-pity, a life of loneliness, and a life of comparison, anxiety, and low self-esteem. I did not value myself or believe I was important. I did not think my voice mattered. I did not believe I was worthy and there was a point I wanted to be someone else. But why?

It took me many years to finally allow myself to feel comfortable with the idea of taking up space because that is what I’m doing, that is what we are all doing, except I did not feel worthy enough. I did not feel like I deserved to. Who was I? What made me important? And that is my point! As young girls, as women, why do some of us feel so inadequate? I realized as an adult that mental and emotional health are just as important for children as they are for adults. Even growing up in a “positive” household the things we consume, the things we watch, read and listen to can impact us and alter the way we feel about ourselves. I want girls to remember they are unique no matter what the next person looks like, the things they have, what they are doing or where they are going. That they remember they are special because there is only one of them and that means something. Anything that anyone else does doesn’t take away from who you are. Conforming to fit in is not an option if it is going to damage your self-worth. Having a relationship with yourself is one of the most important relationships in your life.

I see a lot of people working extremely hard on relationships with other people: sacrificing, giving, showing love and appreciation, forgiving, and accepting over and over. Now there is nothing wrong with these things in relationships because it is a part of being in a relationship but why then do we feel like we do not deserve these things sometimes. To be pursued, loved, forgiven, accepted, sought after by ourselves? Why does this feel unnatural or foreign unless it’s coming from someone else? How much of a difference would it make to give ourselves that same love, but genuinely? The hole we desperately want to fill with someone else’s affections, why can’t we fill it with our own? I want little girls to not allow all these negative things to take root in their hearts or, if it has already begun to, be able to pull them out before they do any more damage. I want to contribute to planting seeds of positive self-worth in their lives. This is important to me because it took a very long time for me to break destructive cycles and begin rebuilding a new foundation. This time I would include love, compassion, tenderness, kindness, patience, forgiveness and understanding.

Not to say that girls will never have their own trials and tribulations or make mistakes but let’s help build them a solid foundation. Something to stand firm on, something to look back and forward to. To encourage them and let them know “you are not your circumstances, you are not your mistakes, you are not your parents or friends or anyone else. You are you! You are unique, valuable, important, and worthy!”

As long as they remember these things nothing can take it away from them because the foundation they have built, that we help lay down for them, is there even if they fall. It did not crumble when they fell, it did not break. It stood firm to catch them. Yes, that fall might hurt badly and maybe shook and bruised them, they will fall numerous times, but that foundation will be there to catch them, to support them and to help them pick themselves back up!

Everything I’m saying people have heard before, but the important thing is that it continues to be said and repeated over and over. It is important to always keep positive words about ourselves in our mouths all the time and its not to be self-centered but to continue to remind ourselves of our value in this life.

I am committed to helping girls realize that they can do more than what their world tells them they can do. They can push past limits other people impose on them and don’t think are possible, especially because they are girls.

This book is amazing and means a lot to me because as simple as it might be, it has power. It’s a good book for moms and daughters together. For moms who might want to heal their inner girl and who want to begin building, or continue building, a foundation for their daughters. I want to show girls that if you believe in yourself many things are possible. I want to help build stronger relationships between moms and daughters. These are things I practice for myself and teach my daughter daily. Although this is children’s book the affirmations are for everyone. They are a reminder to everyone! This is not just a book; it is another doorway to self-love and appreciation. It starts with things like this and continues to grow and spread. Please help us to continue to spread the importance of love because, as we all know, once we love ourselves (I mean truly, not conditionally) we can love other people better.

She is me

She is you

She is us

We are important

We are worthy

We matter!

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